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In days of auld lang syne...

As we ring out 2010 and ring in 2011, I felt the need for a post. Part reflection, part resolution. I could certainly use the excuse "I was just too busy..." as why I haven't updated since June, but I would be lying. I was either too lazy or just didn't feel like it.

I think back to this year, and part of me feels like I didn't accomplish much, but another part disagrees. This was a big year for me. This year I experienced the first major death in my life, my first real job, my first trip outside the east coast. I did a lot of pretty cool things this year ... I did a walk for breast cancer, I opened a Roth IRA, I saved a lot of money, I registered for a course to get certified as a personal trainer, I made new friends. Did I have a lot of goals for this year? Yes. Did I accomplish them all? No. But that's life. All in all, I'm satisfied with the way things turned out.

I'm going to make a list of goals for 2011 just because I think it's fun to have something to work towards, but I won't convince myself I'll complete them all because we see how well that turned out, didn't we?

I thought this was worth mentioning- As I started writing this post, a song by Matthew West came on, which starts off "Is this the end or only the beginning? / The second chance you never though you'd get / The question is, will you do something with it? / Or spend your days lost in your regret?" Oh, MW. You somehow always get me.

Well, I wish a very happy and healthy new year to all of you. May 2011 bring you wonderful things.

Catch up.

Wow. Many apologies, as it has been quite long since I last posted.

I suppose I should start with an update as to where I am in terms of my goals. Well, I haven't gotten too far. I finished Jane Eyre a while back, which I absolutely loved. It was such a fantastic story. I started to read Sense and Sensibility, but I couldn't really get into it, so I might go back to it later. I got a temporary job, which is allowing me to make some money and, consequently, put some in the bank. I've decided I want to start saving up for a down payment on a car. What kind of car, you ask? Well, right now I really like both the Ford Focus coupe and Chevy Cobalt coupe. Deciding which to get will just be a matter of test driving and deciding in which I feel more comfortable. The thought of having my own car excites me. (First, however, I need to start driving again; I haven't in a year or more!)

Recently, I've been thinking about where my life is heading, and what I really want to do with my life. I'm thinking about going back to school to get my teaching degree in Early Childhood Education. I really adore kids, and would love to use theatre to teach preschool or kindergarten.

On April 29th, my grandma passed away. She had been in the hospital for a few weeks, and was getting weaker and weaker. We knew it was coming, but the reality that she is actually gone is very hard. I've never lost anyone close to me before her. My grandpa (her husband) died when I was 3 and a half, and as much as I wish I did, I truly don't remember him. I see photos and videos, but I have no physical memories of him. When I was in 11th grade, my great aunt (her sister) died. We went to the funeral, but I didn't know her that well. It's very comforting for me to know that my grandma is now in heaven with her husband and sister. I miss her every day. I am really thankful for the times in the few months before my grandma died where I sat and talked to her and listened to her stories. She would say, "I'm sure I'm boring you" and I would assure her she wasn't and to keep talking. I'm endlessly glad I had that time with her. I know I'll see her again one day.

I think that's all for now. Take care until next time!

P.S.- Toy Story 3 opens next week. I can't even put my excitement into words. I've been waiting for 5 years!

Food

Recently, I've gotten really into baking and cooking. Being unemployed, I have tons of free time, and lots of that free time is spent watching Food Network, or looking up recipes online for fun. I love food- eating it, making it, watching it, everything. I am constantly finding recipes that I want to try.

However, there are a couple of problems involved with this newly found passion:
1) I don't really have the money to be buying tons of ingredients.
2) I can't allow myself to be eating all these good foods all the time (all in moderation; a cookie never killed anyone!)
3) My older sister is the baker in the house. I don't want her to think I'm "stealing" baking from her, because that is not the case at all. I simply enjoy it.

A couple pictures of my baking ventures:






Chocolate chip blondies, topped with a variety of Oreo, Reese's peanut butter cups and chocolate chips












White chocolate chip and green M&M cookies, for a Jets game/party






















Sugar cookies decorated like footballs for a Super Bowl party

I've cooked dinner a few times, too, but I find pictures of baked goods to be so much more charming. I love desserts, especially those incorporating chocolate. I'm hoping to try out some more recipes soon, so I'll be sure to photograph them and report back ;)

Until next time, folks! And remember, let loose and enjoy a treat every once in a while!

College

I've realized recently how much I miss college. The theatre department at my school was pretty much a second home to me. I loved all the people, all the fun, the fact that I was doing what I loved with people who loved it just as much...

On Facebook all the time, I see photos people have posted, things they post on each other's walls, new people that have become involved in the theatre department ... I just feel sometimes like now that I've graduated, I'm not a part of it anymore, and that my spot has been "replaced" in some way. They've got new jokes, new memories, new friends. I know it's silly, and I know it's the natural cycle of things for people to come and go, but I can't help feeling this way. I still keep in touch with my friends from college, but in some small way, things have changed. I love not being weighed down by the expectations of college, but I do miss the experiences that came along with that.

I'm going to visit in a couple of weeks for one of the shows. I'm really excited. I hope I have a great time, and I hope that I fit right in like I used to.

New York City

Sometimes when I'm bored, I'll search real estate ads for apartments in the city, reveling in the idea of finally living there one day.

I grew up (and still live) 40 minutes from the city. I can hop on a train and go there whenever I feel like it. I'm there as much a I (and my wallet) can take it. But there's still something about the city that's magical to me, something about it that's so fascinating and intriguing. Maybe it's because there's so much of it I haven't seen yet. Maybe it's because of all its diversity. Maybe it's because it's so full of surprises. Or maybe it's because it's a place where dreams can come true.

Whatever it is, I adore New York City, and I can't wait to live there someday.

Football

I've never actually understood football. I've seen my dad watch it on TV, and I've gone to school games where my sister was playing in the marching band, but I was never able to figure it out, even after multiple people attempting to explain it to me. I've said that, for me, watching football is similar to watching a movie in another language- I see it, I pay attention, I know something is happening, but I'm not exactly sure what's really going on. I just cheer when other people cheer. However, there are two things I understand- touchdowns and field goals.

Yesterday I was invited to a friend's house to watch the Jets game with her and her family, a bunch of die-hard Jets fans. I understood what I could and knew it was a good game, but most of it was advanced level Spanish. After the Jets won, I was invited to watch the game with them again next week.

So, I have created another goal for myself. Not a goal for the year, but a goal for the week. I am determined to understand football by 3:00 on Sunday. [For fun, let's call it a "field goal"!] My dad explained downs, but I still couldn't grasp the concept. It seems a visual helps, so I searched YouTube and came across this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr7Pu-Zw0Ow
It's pretty much a 4-minute, no-nonsense guide to the basic rules of football. I actually caught myself going "Oh!" a couple of times. Maybe this is all I need; I'll just have to watch and study it a few more times.

In due time, people, in due time.

Living

"Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today."
--James Dean

I've been thinking about this quote lately. I identify with the first part, definitely. I have big dreams. There's so much that I want to do, so many places I want to go, so many things I want to see. However, I don't know about the second part. I have a great life and I've done lots of amazing things so far during it, but I want to really make something of it. I want to break away from whatever it is that's holding me back from making those dreams happen. I want to be able to say I really lived.

Someone I went to college with moved to Paris after graduation. That was his dream, and he did it. Another friend of mine is in Louisville for a year as an acting apprentice. A third is in Chicago doing a volunteer program. They are experiencing things, they are fulfilling dreams, they are living. I want to live. I want to take chances. I want to do something good.

I recently applied for an acting apprenticeship, and registered on a website for volunteer services. I feel like both of these would be fantastic experiences for me. Not only would I be seeing a new part of the country, but I'd be doing something really cool while I was there. I feel as though an experience like either of those could change my life.

For now, I'm living each day as it comes and accepting whatever life throws at me with open arms. I hope life takes me to tons of amazing places; I hope I get to live.

"There is hope for me yet
Because God won't forget
All the plans He's made for me
I have to wait and see.
He's not finished with me yet
He's not finished with me yet."
--Brandon Heath

Jane Eyre

I'm currently reading Jane Eyre and really enjoying it. It's funny how, in school, being forced to read a book makes it so easy to be critical and hate it, but choosing to read the same book of your own volition somehow makes it so much easier to enjoy. I was never assigned Jane Eyre in school, and that makes this experience so much better.

10 Things I Will Accomplish in 2010

I've compiled a list of ten things I will accomplish this year. I say "will accomplish" because doing so gives me the motivation to make them all happen. I don't "want to" or "hope to" do these things ... I will.

Here goes (in no particular order):

1. Get a New York acting gig
2. Lose at least 10 pounds and 5 inches off my waist
3. Run a marathon
4. Travel somewhere new (and preferably outside of the east coast)
5. Add one thousand more dollars to my bank account
6. Read at least five classic novels
7. Take a yoga class
8. See at least three Off-Off-Broadway productions and one ballet.
9. Go vegan for one week
10. Pick at least three TV shows and watch them in their entirety

Granted, some of these will be easier (or less expensive) to complete than others, but I'm determined to succeed. I use "at least" in a few of them so as to give myself a goal, but not limit myself. However, pretty much all of them are "at leasts" of some kind, even if not specified.

For now, the list is at 10. If I think of a new goal, I'll add it to the list. I will be updating on my progress.